Christmas Tree Farm, Missing..

Stop the presses.. we have an urgent warning. There has been a looting on the christmas tree farm in Morrison, Illinois. Earlier today, the perpetrators got away with several acres of fresh douglas fir. A suspicious brown van was sighted barreling down the interstate at 65mph!! If you have any details on the Christmas Trees Farm Banditos, please let us know immediately.. as they are armed with musical gear and dangerous, fancy, magic tricks. Be avised, they will play music for money. Ding Dong!